Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Hard Stuff

Sometimes I'm guilty of wearing my rose colored glasses when it comes to Porter. He's cute, he's happy and he's pretty darn smart too! But as he grows, we start to hit bumps in the road. Bumps that make the differences more apparent. Right now he's going through a phase. Whining. Big opinions. Frustrations. He doesn't like to hear "no." He throws. He tries to "escape" from activities he doesn't like. He tests the limits. I remember this phase with Penny. I remember the pediatrician telling me that you can't reason with a two year old. But when you're not sure what your two year old understands, that is even more difficult.
He finally moved to the next classroom at school. He's still not walking consistently, but he sometimes chooses to walk short distances. He's getting into the routines and he's thriving. But, we understand it's hard! We are asking him to focus on activities for longer periods of time. It's hard and when he succeeds, we praise, praise, praise. But, sometimes he's got other plans. Sometimes the throws and gets mad. Sometimes he thinks it's apporpriate to eat like Cookie Monster. Sometimes I say "no" and it's like he never heard me at all.
He is always on his A game. He's taller and faster and can get into everything. He has favorites. He's obsessed with Elmo and tries to turn on the tv and computer. He uses his words to ask for things and expects that because he used those words we've been working so hard towards using, that he should get what he's asked for. That's the hardest part for me right now. Because I'm not sure how his understanding is developing. Because I just praised him for using his words and still said no, inciting major frustration. Navigating this fine line of encouraging language, exploration and free choice while still maintaining rules and discipline is the start of the hard part...something we will spend years working on together. It's requiring RC and I to work together and stay consistent. It's making me look like the bad guy all the time. Some days I'm not great at it...some days I get frustrated too. Some days I yell, which never solves anything. But, it's making us all grow stronger. And on the days I get it right, we all learn. Together. 
At the end of the day, he's still my baby. And when he wakes up at 5am and says snuggle, I snuggle. He falls back asleep, safe in my arms. Melts into me the same way he did as a baby, just many inches longer. And in a few years, we will have new "hard stuff." We will look back and think, that was easy. 
We are about to make some big transitions. Moving from EarlyIntervention   (And our amazing therapy team that's been with us since birth) to the Intermediate Unit. Moving to a big boy bed. Turning 3. Attempting to potty train. Possibly taking a gym class. Exciting times! Most parts will be fun, but some will be hard. And we'll do it together. Because together is a pretty amazing place to be.

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